I met with a long time friend tonight for dinner and some wine. We haven't seen each other in a few months, yet we seem to pick up right where we left off. Once we get caught up with each other's life, we find out deeper reasons we care about each other. She has known me for many years, and has been very close to me and my family. I cherish our friendship, and her youthful wisdom from such a rich life of experience and intentionality. I shared with her my journey and the kinds of things I'm hoping for in the coming months. I have some thoughts - that I'll reserve for now - and some dreams that may allow me to travel during time off this summer. I have an opportunity to take 2 weeks in a row off from work, and I haven't done that since my son was born 5 years ago and I was on maternity leave. I am hoping to make myself available to opportunities and open to options that I would not have considered before. It's a facinating time of waiting and wondering...much like we do in this winter to spring season.
I was just about to give up on my time in the garden this year - terribly unsure of where my time will be spent this spring and summer. And so, I wonder if I'll have time to weed and cultivate a garden that may just get neglected. Remembering the joy I held last summer as the veggies began to sprout, and then to blossom into amazing gifts for me and my family. The sweet smell of tomatoes and cucumbers is still in my senses, and I can almost taste them now.
She recommends to me...plant anyways. You really don't know what the time ahead will hold, and because you enjoyed the garden so much last year - why not invest a little time, energy, and a little money to put together some things that you'll know your family will be able to reap, even if you don't. Perhaps someone else would weed that garden, or come to pick veggies, or remember to water it. Perhaps, you'll be able to dig in the dirt and plan out the structure. Perhaps...or not. What's the worst that can happen? The garden dries up and fails, but that means your hopes for a fulfilling future are being experienced.
If you choose not to plant, and your hopes for the future are not ready for you yet...and you miss out on both of them. It's like all the trips she's got planned for this summer, even in the midst of wanting to try to have a baby. So what? So, your plans get a little messed up, but what if you hold off on travel, and you still don't have a baby? Then what? How long do you wait for those missed opportunities? And, how do you know that doing what you truely enjoy is not what it's all about anyways? Why not make contingency plans instead of holding out for something that may not happen? This is what being open to possibilities is all about.
I will heed her advice...in many ways. I will play with my children, love my husband, enjoy sensual and amazing music, go deeper with relationships between friends, seek Christ more fully, buy paint for the house and plant anyways.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Feb 2010, transition and planning
Last year at this time, I had absolutely no idea what I had - much less begin to plan for my garden. This year, I have a bit more knowledge, a few things I've learned about composition, color, perennials, annuals, grass, veggies, and mulch. But, for some reason, I'm in a funk as to what to do about anything that I know.
Some friends have suggested I plant seeds in the window to being sprouting green things to transplant once the sun warms the ground enough to insure no more frost. However, I'm just not sure I want to put that much energy into my lovely garden this year.
I've been very pleased with the lovely perennial flowers - many of them native to this area of MN. I've also been pleased with the beautiful variety that my roses and seedums have offered in the front garden.
Last spring I purchased already sprouting veggies from a Boy Scout fundraiser, and I am pleased to say that they did remarkably well. I need more veggies this year, but will I have time to weed and dig like I did last year?
My life feels like I'm in a place of waiting, a transition of some kind. I have some hopes of what that might be, but don't want to get too excited about something so risky, daring, and downright "unsafe." You see, I have been known as a responsible type. The first born child who always does what is "good" and "right" and totally stayed within the safe confines of my makebelieve walls.
Buying a house in a difficult economy was one risk I was not comfortable making, but it has really paid off this past year. I love the creative juices that have been flowing...and going back to read some of my blog posts has been rewarding. I've found a new love for plants, dirt and other natural things that I thought this city girl would never find. I've found the responsibility of owning a home to be not more than I can handle, but instead just what I can handle. It's actually been fun.
Of course, my husband would say, and has said on a number of occasions, how he hates the house. Now, I'm sure he doesn't mean it, and I've been sure to correct him. He just hates the work and some normal stuff that goes wrong in a house - he feels he needs to be responsible for. So, we have a slight mold problem in the ceiling of our main level bathroom. It's only there...and we've contributed it to poor ventilation of the bathroom fan, and really hot showers. The roof is good, no leaks that we could see in the fall, but just to be safe, had a contractor help us put in additional insulation in our roof and increase air flow to that part of the house. It's tough to say now, since there's so much snow on the roof, if there is still a problem or if we're good to go for the rest of the season. Needless to say, we may not be good to go, so my husband gets irritated that we're still dealing with this issue after 6 months. I would just rather paint over everything once it's dry and call it a day. It is dry, for now. He's now waiting for ice dams and leaks to appear. I hate worrying about it, so I don't. If we notice a problem, we move to fix it. If we don't notice a problem, why go looking for trouble?
Anyhow...this house has been such a good thing for both of us. It's stretching us and helping us to grow up a bit, I think.
I still wonder if this summer will let me be in the garden, or if I'm going to be busy with something else that will take up all my time. Do I dare consider planting veggies, if I won't have much time to weed them?
However, from previous posts, you know that there is where I meet God...in the quiet, in the physical work, in nature. I mean, I meet him every day in my life, too. I just realized how deep that time with Him was when I was in the garden alone. I long for that time again. Perhaps that's why I stay up late reading other blogs and writing here or in my other blog. Lord, speak to me here. Help me to hear what you would have me hear.
Some friends have suggested I plant seeds in the window to being sprouting green things to transplant once the sun warms the ground enough to insure no more frost. However, I'm just not sure I want to put that much energy into my lovely garden this year.
I've been very pleased with the lovely perennial flowers - many of them native to this area of MN. I've also been pleased with the beautiful variety that my roses and seedums have offered in the front garden.
Last spring I purchased already sprouting veggies from a Boy Scout fundraiser, and I am pleased to say that they did remarkably well. I need more veggies this year, but will I have time to weed and dig like I did last year?
My life feels like I'm in a place of waiting, a transition of some kind. I have some hopes of what that might be, but don't want to get too excited about something so risky, daring, and downright "unsafe." You see, I have been known as a responsible type. The first born child who always does what is "good" and "right" and totally stayed within the safe confines of my makebelieve walls.
Buying a house in a difficult economy was one risk I was not comfortable making, but it has really paid off this past year. I love the creative juices that have been flowing...and going back to read some of my blog posts has been rewarding. I've found a new love for plants, dirt and other natural things that I thought this city girl would never find. I've found the responsibility of owning a home to be not more than I can handle, but instead just what I can handle. It's actually been fun.
Of course, my husband would say, and has said on a number of occasions, how he hates the house. Now, I'm sure he doesn't mean it, and I've been sure to correct him. He just hates the work and some normal stuff that goes wrong in a house - he feels he needs to be responsible for. So, we have a slight mold problem in the ceiling of our main level bathroom. It's only there...and we've contributed it to poor ventilation of the bathroom fan, and really hot showers. The roof is good, no leaks that we could see in the fall, but just to be safe, had a contractor help us put in additional insulation in our roof and increase air flow to that part of the house. It's tough to say now, since there's so much snow on the roof, if there is still a problem or if we're good to go for the rest of the season. Needless to say, we may not be good to go, so my husband gets irritated that we're still dealing with this issue after 6 months. I would just rather paint over everything once it's dry and call it a day. It is dry, for now. He's now waiting for ice dams and leaks to appear. I hate worrying about it, so I don't. If we notice a problem, we move to fix it. If we don't notice a problem, why go looking for trouble?
Anyhow...this house has been such a good thing for both of us. It's stretching us and helping us to grow up a bit, I think.
I still wonder if this summer will let me be in the garden, or if I'm going to be busy with something else that will take up all my time. Do I dare consider planting veggies, if I won't have much time to weed them?
However, from previous posts, you know that there is where I meet God...in the quiet, in the physical work, in nature. I mean, I meet him every day in my life, too. I just realized how deep that time with Him was when I was in the garden alone. I long for that time again. Perhaps that's why I stay up late reading other blogs and writing here or in my other blog. Lord, speak to me here. Help me to hear what you would have me hear.
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